Countdown of Fuckboys

It’s been awhile. Sorry.

2017 was a rough year for me. Started a new job at the beginning of the year and hated it. It affected me mentally and physically–to the point of depression.

2018 is going to be a turning point b/c 1) it’s the last year in my 20’s and I can’t be 30 and still fucking around 2) it literally cannot be worse than 2017 (I mean it can…but I am trying to be dramatic).

So let’s count down 2017 with the worst fuckboys I’ve ever encountered. How does that sound?

In random order (can’t remember everyone’s name… forgive me, I was a hoe.)

12) The club promoter whom I introduced to butt stuff. Liking a finger in your ass does not make you gay–don’t worry, sweet bottoms.

11) The 22 year old.

10) The Jew who high-fived me after sex.

9) The Jew who I blew for like 15 minutes and got nothing in return. I just walked out on him at full attention.

8) The Jew who wanted to reuse a condom.

7) The Jew who wanted me to peg him.

6) The Russian immigrant who wanted me to peg him. With 2 dildos.

5) The married Jew who lied about his name. Joke’s on you. I know your wife’s name and where she works.

4) The REALLY sweaty Jew. Like sweat dripping in my mouth while he was on top sweaty.

3) The guy who gave me chlamydia but knows how to make girls squirt.

2) The guy who made me FaceTime him to watch me swallow Plan B. Also wanted me to scat and pee on him. Now dating a 30 year old virgin.

1) The guy who always asks me how his cum tastes. My reply out of niceness, “Does cum ever taste good?” But he truthfully has the worst tasting cum EVER. Very metallic-y. Order yourself some pineapple juice, hun.