My name is Mary. It’s actually not, but it’s as boring as Mary. Definitely not a name people enjoy calling out in bed… if they even remember my name. I’m just a New York City girl, living in a lonely world. Hopped on the social blog train because I am not ready to pay for a therapist. Sharing some of my jaw dropping, too good to be true, hilarious encounters. Apologies in advance if I am talking about you.

I just woke up from a nap after eating spaghetti with meatballs, french fries, and pizza. Slept so hard, woke up, and thought it was morning. Nope. It is currently 10pm on a Friday night in NYC. Currently listening to “Wish I Knew You” by the Revivalists, on repeat. Just the one song. On repeat. Very fitting of my obsessive compulsive disorder  (self-diagnosed, obvi). While in the shower, fake crying and thinking about how terrible my dating life is, I finally decided to bite the bullet and start my blog.

I’ve shared some of my most memorable stories with friends and strangers for shits and gigs, and have been told I should write about them. So here I am. Hoping this will be a memorabilia when I become a born-again Christian virgin.

These vignettes are meant to be initially funny. At times, I will throw in some depressing thoughts about my one-night hookups. Overall, don’t take this too seriously, but understand that this modern day hook-up culture wears and tears the soul.

So how did I decide on such a provocative name for this blog? A few years ago when I was very gung-ho about my weight loss journey, people asked me how I lost 100lbs (unfortunately gained back). I would reply, half jokingly, “diet, exercise, and swallowing cum.” I am not sure if there is credible, medical evidence that swallowing helps you lose weight, but the scale always drops 5lbs in the morning. Coincidence? You decide. Regardless, from the wise words of my Asian sista from another mista, “it’s only polite to do it.”